My Story

I am not a blogger. I have tried and failed...a couple times. I am hoping 2012 changes that. There are a few blog ideas I have in the works, and I am starting with this one.

I am pretty sure I was born with the short fat gene. I can't ever remember a time where I wasn't called chubby or chunky. But I had "such a pretty face" (do they really think that makes the other comments better?).

I was not athletic either. So in middle school, when I made the cheerleading squad I was ecstatic. But I was the fattest girl on the squad and that is hard for a hormonal 13 year old to take. I watched all of my friends grow taller, while I just grew wider. It sucked!

My first year of college, I gained the freshman 15, plus 20 more. I hated myself, but God sent me an amazing man who saw through the pudge. When we got married in 2003, I weighed 175 and wore a size 18 wedding dress.

It did not take long for me to gain more, and more, and more. Between being newly married, going to school, and working, we ate out almost every night. Before I knew it, by 2006, I had gained 40 pounds.

At the time I weighed in at 215, I was also trying to get pregnant with my first baby. After a year of trying, with no success and only 4 periods in 12 months, I decided to get help. I went to a reproductive endocrinologist and tested positive for PCOS. My doctor agreed to help me, but with his help, he challenged me to find a nutritionist and lose 20 pounds. My nutritionist put me on a low glycemic index nutrition plan and I lost my 20 pounds in two months. The following month (with the help of Clomid) I was pregnant with a bouncing baby boy!!

This is where it gets strange. When I got pregnant, I was 195 and feeling great! But I was prepared to gain it all back during the pregnancy, but not looking forward to trying to lose it all again. However, my body surprised me. Partly due to all day sickness and party due to an abnormally fast metabolism while pregnant, I gained a total of 12 pounds (7 pounds of baby) and lost 20 the week after giving birth. I surprisingly got pregnant again 6 months later and again my body did the opposite of normal and after giving birth to my second baby, I was the lightest I had ever remembered at 170. I was feeling good!

That happiness of being lighter lasted for about a year. Then, my husband and I decided to pack up in October of 2009 and move to Michigan. It all went down hill from there. I missed my friends and family and life on the east coast and I ate everything in sight. I gained 25 pounds in 4 months. How is that even possible?

In June of 2010, my in-laws decided to join weight watchers and they lost weight rapidly but still ate great meals. They seem fulfilled and happy! In October of 2010, I took the plunge! For the first time in my life, I was taught how to eat properly and not just eat what my cravings were telling me to. It was freeing!!! My goal was to lose 30 pounds by March of 2011 for a family trip to Disney World, and I did it!!!!! My reward was to be carefree in Disney, no point counting and no portion measuring. BIG mistake. When I got home from Disney, I was depressed and instead of diving back into my plan of losing 30 more pounds, I gained 20. I kept trying to restart the plan, but I blamed weekend trips, birthday parties and nights out for not being able to start.

Exactly one year from the time I started weight watchers the first time, I decided to go all in and try it again. From October 2011 to present I have relost the 20 pounds (plus 3 more!). I just got back from a trip to PA and was terrified that I would once again ruin all my hardwork, but with the help of some great friends and a very patient and thoughtful husband, the first 4 days of the year have been great!!

In this long long long journey, I have learned a few things about myself.

1. I am happier when I can look in the mirror and be proud of what I see. It may seem shallow, but so be it.
2. I am an emotional eater. When I am happy, mad, depressed, scared, surprised...I eat. I am learning to look for contentment instead of emotional highs and lows.
3. I love to help and encourage other people with the same struggles I am going through and it makes the weight loss journey easier for me and less painful when I am helping someone else.

This blog is going to be used to keep track of my weigh-ins, pictures, goals and maybe some yummy recipes every now and then! Thanks for reading <3